As a mom, it just hurts to hear that...

DAY 36-

Johnathan was so excited to get on the bus today, he was running down the driveway while holding mommy's hand and dragging me behind him. Completely opposite of yesterday when the was throwing temper tantrums. Yesterday it was because I fed him, but he didn't like the cereal that he was given, and so refused to eat it. Today not only did he eat his breakfast, but he knew once he got to school, he was going to take another short bus ride to another preschool, because the zoo was going to bring some animals for the kids to see. That made mommy happy when he was happy to get on the bus.

Then I ran inside, and left to take the other two to school. After dropping them off I came home to get ready to go to the commissary. I needed a few groceries for the next few days, until pay day that is. After grocery shopping, I also met up with our Team Captain to turn in a check that I had, and the paper saying how much I raised online. Don't worry, you still have a day to donate online. Any money, even a dollar will help go towards helping babies, and showing my children what it is like to raise money for others.

When I came home I put the groceries away just in time, then it was time for Johnathan to come home from school. Later on we had an IEP meeting at Elizabeth's school. (Individual Education Plan). I really don't like those meetings. I don't like being in a meeting with 5 other people, letting me know, really how much my daughter has not improved. Even after 2 years of pre school, and a year of kindergarten. She is developmentally delayed. Each time I go to an IEP meeting, I just want to cry. I just hurt so much not knowing why she is learning this stuff, she has been tested before. Were always told at what age she knows stuff at, and not what is wrong. Today's meeting was worse then any other. It hurt me to hear that my daughter doesn't have any friends, and that the kids "accept her." Aww, this is just making me cry right now. I send my daughter to school, not only to get an education, but to make little friends. Accepting my daughter, is not acceptable to me. There is no reason my daughter shouldn't have any friends. Just because she has a learning disabilities doesn't mean she can't have friends. She is the friendliest little girl, and I always here that from everybody. And whenever she sees kids she say, "that's my friends, or hey friends". geesh, now I'm crying. This just hurts me to hear this. Last week on when I went on the zoo field trip, one little girl said, "Elizabeth and her little brother are scary." That was not acceptable to me either, I automatically corrected her and let her know that wasn't a nice thing to say. I am writing a note to the teacher tomorrow about how I feel. Also, apparently they don't have teachers aids, or anyone to help her directly in her classroom with her work. Something she needs, not just being pulled out of the classroom for help. I am going to see if they will allow me to come in Monday-Thursday for 3 hours when my youngest is in school to help her. If they don't allow me, I will fight it. If they won't get her the help she needs in the classroom, then as her mother, I will go in her class and assist her with the work that the teacher has given her. Or, how else is she going to learn? The teacher has way to many students in the class to give her the help she needs.

The meeting was for an hour, not knowing it was for an hour, I sent the kids home on the bus. I got out of the meeting about 7 minutes prior to the bus dropping the kids off. Realizing that I still needed to put Johnathan in the car, and then drive home, I knew I wouldn't make it home on time. I didn't want my kids waiting on the front porch. Thankfully, I had my next door neighbors number and so I called her, she went to the bus stop to get the children, and let them hang out at her house for a few minutes. Thankfully she was home to do that, I appreciated it. The kids were already eating cheez-its when I arrived.

Later on tonight we went to Micheal's soccer practice. The younger two and I just usually wait in the car. Today my daughter broke my heart, she said, "I don't like myself, God doesn't like me," I don't know where she is getting this stuff. It breaks a moms heart to hear this. I told her I love her, daddy loves her, and God loves her, and she is a beautiful girl.

I know I was lucky and got to talk to my husband two days in a row, which is highly unusual, but I just really want to be able to talk to him. Today was a tough day with all of this. I just want to hear his voice, and be able to talk these things over with him.