Up Close at the FREE Darryl Worley Concert....

DAY 228~ October 30th, 2010~

It has been extremely busy the last couple days, and will continue to be tomorrow. Today after waking up and getting ready, we took the truck down to the gas station to get some cash. Then we went to Michael's soccer game.

I was very disappointed with his soccer game today. It was the last one for the season, and he only played half of the game. He didn't want to go back out. I was really unhappy that I went to see him, and he wouldn't play. As of now, he won't be doing soccer again next year.

Then it was time for their pool party. It was the last game today, so the coach had a pool party after the game. First the kids went swimming. I was the only adult who paid to go swimming, along with Elizabeth and Johnathan. It was really embarrassing, since all of the other parents were upstairs watching out the window as the kids swam. I knew Johnathan and Elizabeth wanted to swim, and wouldn't be able to with out me in. So, that is why I swallowed my pride and went in the pool.

When the swimming part was over, it was time for the kids to eat. They had pizza, cupcakes, cookies, fruits, vegetables, etc. I have decided that I'm NEVER baking again for any of these functions. I took the left over cupcakes from yesterday to the pool party. Well, only one person ate one, because of all of the junk food. Then a child was not being very careful, and even though, there was PLENTY of room on the table, knocked over my 19 cupcakes that were in my container. I really had to bite my tongue and not say anything. I was just BEYOND frustrated that I had spend all of that time baking cupcakes, only to have ONE person eat them.

Then the kids received their trophy's that we paid for, got their pictures we paid for, and their certificate. And finally it was time to come home.

Then later tonight I went with my "workout friend", Elizabeth and Johnathan to the Darryl Worley Free concert on Fort. Michael went to hang out with my Workout friends, husband and two boys, and didn't go to the concert.

I was so afraid that we weren't going to be able to get into the free concert. They were only allowing 900 people in, and we were arriving a little over 2 and a half hours before. Well, when we arrived and got in line, there were only about 100 people in front of us, if that, we knew we were getting in. We got a free, "treat bag", which had a shirt and a hat that said Military Discounts.

When it was finally time for the doors to open, we were able to sit 5 rows back, and I was right in the center. The theater ended up not being really packed, and 900 people didn't show up, which was a surprise since it was a free concert. The concert started at 8 p.m.

Darryl Worley played a few songs, and the said, "I don't know how you all do it here, but you can come stand up front by the stage." So us, and a ton of other people did just that. At first we were standing a couple of rows back from the stage, behind some people. And once the people that were all the way by the stage moved, we moved up. I ended up standing right next to the stage for a few songs. It was almost like you could reach out and touch him. I was so close, I got eye contact a few times, and Elizabeth was able to touch his hand a couple of times. And when my friend and I had the chance to touch his hand, he winked at us. That is how close we were. I don't have zoom on my pictures above, and the other one didn't come out the best, because he was standing right in front of me. Wow, it was cool!

It was such a fun, amazing concert, and experience with my friend and the kids. I'm so glad that after hearing the advertisement on the radio, and seeing it on facebook that I decided to go. At the end one of the workers gave me and a couple other people a paper with the order of songs he was playing tonight. And I bought a c.d.

After the concert, which ended about 9:45 p.m, it was time to drop my friend off, pick up Michael and head home. Now I should hit he hay! Thinking, loving and missing my handsome husband!

I almost got ran over by a shopping cart....

DAY 227~ October 29th, 2010...

Today was another one of those crazy busy days. Except, I didn't get to stay home and enjoy my home, I was pretty much out and about ALL day! First thing first, I took the two oldest to school, little man doesn't have preschool on Fridays. We ended up being a couple minutes late, ACK! And then I had to park.

Today was the Awards Assembly. Elizabeth was getting an award first thing today. The Assembly lasted about an hour, she got a Panda Award, which was for showing improvement.

When the Assembly was over, Johnathan and I went to Walmart. I needed to get juice for Michael's party, and a few other things. I had just checked my account balance on my phone, stepped across the aisle to get a bag of candy for the trick-or-treaters, when all of a sudden, and shopping cart was coming at me FULL SPEED AHEAD! It scared me, I was like, what is this person doing, can they not give me second to get back across the aisle. When suddenly, I realized it is my workout friend who I haven't seen in a month. She happened to spot me at Walmart, and was just teasing me. So, then Johnathan and I had a nice time finishing up our Walmart shopping with my friend.

Then it was time to come home and make lunch, and I also called my parents to talk to them. Once I was off the phone, I decided to let myself take a 45 minute nap. I knew how busy we would be today and this weekend. When my nap was over it was time to head back to the school.

Michael's class was having a Halloween party for, that is why I made 48 cupcakes, (30 of them for his class) last night. I ended up being a few minutes late to his class, and the kids had already started eating. They ended up not drinking the juice I made the special trip to Walmart for, and only ate about 4 cupcakes, Michael being one of them that ate it. So, it was almost a waste for me.

Once school was over, I realized it looked like Elizabeth had also had a party, with all the treats she came home with. I was upset over this, because I specifically wrote a note to her teacher, and her teacher said they weren't. If I would have known it, I would have also wanted to be a part of my daughters party. So, I was truly disappointed and upset at the same time

When we left the school, we came home to drop the cupcakes off. Surprisingly it was a hot day, and I didn't want them to melt in the car. Then we were off to Walmart. Michael still didn't have a pumpkin. The other two received free ones on their field trips a couple weeks ago. He ended up picking the second one he touched because he like it. It was then time to grab some dinner. We went through McDonald's, because we also had other plans tonight.

Once We got our order, and it was time to leave, I happened to notice lots of smoke down the road. Yes, I'm a snoop, and we went to check it out. It ended up being a trash transfer place that was on fire. There were about 10 cars pulled over on the side of the road (a little ways away, but clear view) watching the fire, and taking pictures. We also pulled over for a few minutes. We arrived a few minutes before the fire department arrived. (We were a safe. distance back, a large field, and train track was separating us from the building.) Then we ran back to the house because the kids had to use the restroom.

Finally, we were on to our fun destination tonight. "Ghost at the Post", which is at the Garden of the Gods. I forgot about the curvy roads it takes to get to it.They had indoor trick or treating, a scary story (we didn't do this because we didn't have time, costume contest, if you had an already carved pumpkin, they had a contest, and they had a coloring contest. The kid's didn't win the costume contest, but Johnathan won the coloring contest for 0-3 year olds. Funny thing was, he refused to color at first. He told me flat out, NO! Then all of a sudden, he started coloring and wouldn't stop, but with only 1 color, and it was orange. Guess it worked for him since he won.His prize was a gift bag with a coloring book, crayons (princess crayons, haha) a sticker book, little book, a Halloween bracelet, and some candy. I was so proud of him for winning. Then It was time to watch the Charlie Brown Halloween Movie. In which was hard for me to enjoy because Elizabeth was being stubborn, for not winning a prize.

Then we came home, and I let them carve pumpkins. By this time it was already after 8 p.m. Well, I carved out the top, they cleaned them, drew on their face, and I carved the rest. I didn't want them to cut themselves with the knife. Then I baked the pumpkin seeds. And finally it was bath time then bedtime. Michael fell asleep, around 10 p.m. By the time I was able to get baths done for the other two, it was 11 p.m. Wow, since it is already 1:46 a.m, I think I need to get some sleep.

Loving, missing and thinking of my handsome husband, wishing that he could be enjoying these moments with us....

I don't remember the last time I stayed home ALL day, but I sure stayed busy....

DAY 226~ October 29th, 2010~

Once all of the kids were off to school, it was time for myself at home. I didn't go the gym today do to waking up not feeling the greatest. But, I was determined to start to feel better, and I wasn't going to take a nap. Lately, it has been hard to get through the day with out a nap. But, I was against that today.

I have been busy all day.First thing first, I didn't have any milk for breakfast and so I made muffins from a package. Then I cleaned up the messy house, since I hadn't cleaned the last couple days do to being sick. Which consisted of cleaning the living room, kitchen, family room and doing laundry, which I worked on all day. I even washed my hair in the kitchen sink, so that it would dry during the day and I could fix it tonight.

When Johnathan got home, I worked on my homework. I had finished my daily assignments, and accomplished one big assignment for the week. I did my homework so I could go to bed early tonight, but look at me I'm still up and it's 12:31 a.m.

Then I cleaned some more. I got a lot accomplished today. When the older two arrived home, it was practically time to make dinner. So, I made taco's, but that is not all. While making dinner I also baked 48 cupcakes, oh my! It was 2 boxes, for Michael's Halloween party at school tomorrow. I feel bad because Elizabeth's class is not doing a party. And when I was done with all of that, I made more muffins for breakfast tomorrow. Each pack only makes 6, so I wanted enough for two each. Then I iced, and put sprinkles on the cupcakes I made.

After that I worked on doing more laundry. I put about 3-4 loads of laundry away after the kids had gone to bed. They didn't even know I was in their rooms. Oh, and I even forgot somewhere in there I helped Elizabeth with two math homework sheets.

Finally it was shower time, and I had time to fix my hair. I just can't believe how busy today was, and the day seemed very long. It was very difficult fighting not taking a nap, but I managed, and now I'm exhausted and headed to bed. Thinking of, loving and missing Josh tonight.

All in all, it was a crazy, but good day!

DAY 225~ October 28th, 2010

Today has been another day of not feeling so good. Right after I put Johnathan on the bus, and took the other two to school, I took an hour nap. But, the other two were about 10 minutes late to school, eeek! That is what happens when you have children that don't want to listen. It was only our second time of being late since school started the middle of August, so I think were okay.

When my nap was over, for not feeling the greatest, I got ready to go to Johnathan's Halloween party at school. Not long after I arrived, they started going trick or treating. Their Preschool is made up into two parts, a preschool, and then you have to go outside, into another half of the building that looks the same as the preschool side, and there are offices. The little preschoolers went on that side and went to the different desks to get a piece of candy from each. It was to cute, most of the kids had on their Halloween costumes, as long as they weren't scary.

After their trick or treating was done, they all went back to the classroom to get the party started. They each got to eat pizza rolls, cheese, crackers, and chips. That was their party food. After the 3-4 (and sometimes 5) year olds ate it was game time. The teacher had 4 different games they could play. One was put the spider on the web, ghost golf (not sure what this one was only saw one child play it), feed the monster, and put the ghost through the hoop. When game time was over, they sat in their circle where they sang a spider song, with a plastic spider ring, such as the spider is on the ground, then on my leg, stomach, etc. And they would put the spider on each of the places. Then they talked about the letter of the week, and where Mr. Bear, the bear each of them take home, read where he went last. And finally, it was time to go home. Of course Johnathan rode home with me since I was at the school.

Immediately after, I went with Johnathan on Fort, to the PX parking lot. I had heard they had free Popeye's for lunch, and I was curious if they had any left over. I knew that it was from 11-1, which was the lunch time of most of the Soldiers. When we arrived they did have some, probably getting towards the end of what they had, but it was still good. So, Johnathan and I picked a table out in the cold wind, and ate our lunch. The coldness didn't seem to bother him, I had a hard time making him keep his jacket on. We ate mashed potatoes with gravy, a biscuit, I had a chicken breast, and the guy gave Johnathan two chicken wings. It was good. Then they had a mini car show with about 8 cars. This is Johnathan's new obsession, he is only 3. He looked at every single one of those cars very closely, a few times each. He didn't want to leave. A couple of the owners said he could sit in them for pictures, he didn't want to, he was being to shy. Another owner also let him look inside his. He was so mad when the time had come for the show to be over, and all the cars had to leave. He started throwing a temper tantrum. If he could have, he would have been there ALL day.

Then we looked at this car that was in a very bad wreck, and two people died, June 10, 2010. It was two, husbands/fathers. It was very sad seeing how bad this car was, because drinking and driving. They had a poster on it of what had happened. The driver, had been in an argument with his wife that night, he decided to drink some to relax. His wife hid the keys, later that night he found them, and went and picked up his brother in law. His wife's brother. The driver 31, and the passenger, 22, were killed while the driver was changing lanes, hit a curb, over corrected, and the car flipped and hit the tree. The passenger, who was only 22, just returned from Afghanistan 2 weeks prior to this accident. The drivers wife not only lost her husband, she lost her brother. And 4 kids, just from this accident had lost their father, 3 from the driver, 1 from the passenger. Just such a sad thing, It will be hard to get the image of the car out of my head. It was bad! So, please don't drink and drive, your friends and family love you, and we don't want something like this to happen to someone else, or innocent people that may be out and about.

After that, we were on our way home. We weren't home very long, about 1:45 p.m or so, when I heard a knock at the door. I was like, this is strange. I looked out my blinds and saw Elizabeth at the door. Whoops, I completely forgot that they had early dismissal today. But, when I opened the door, it was VERY creepy. A solicitor was also at the door (even though we have a sign that says NO SOLICITING!!!) standing there with them. I didn't see this person when I looked out the blind. And if I didn't see my children, I would have never answered the door to him. I told the, you cannot just come up to the door when a stranger is at the door, pretend that you don't live at the house until they are gone. It just really creeped me out to open the door and see him standing next to the kids.

Once they were safely in the house, I turned on the t.v, and layed down on the couch for what I thought was a half hour nap, still not feeling the greatest at this time, and had already planned to get another nap in before I remembered they would be home. The nap ended up being 2 hours long, eek!! I woke up and asked Michael to go check the time on the stove. It was 4:17. Darn it, we had soccer practice at 5, there was no way I would have time to make dinner, and eat. When I woke up it was time to get ready to go. I drove the truck tonight to his practice. I think I forgot to mention, I also drove Josh's truck last night to the Bear scout meeting. I get funny looks from people when I drive it, since it is so big. Like, I can't believe a lady is driving that thing,haha.

Oh, and about the Bear Scout thing, last night I said I wasn't sure if he was going to be able to do it. It looks like something is going to work out, where we can buy his shirt and his book. So, more then likely he will be doing bear scouts.

Tonight when soccer practice was over, in which the other two kids and I waited in the truck, I found out they won't be having practice tomorrow. Tonight was the last one. We then came home and had a late night dinner of soup, and tuna fish sandwiches. Then it was bath time and bed time. Yes, today was a very busy day.

I'm so glad that my daily assignments are done for the night. But, I have just been sitting here, drinking my tea with honey that my mom recommended I drink since I haven't been feeling well, thinking about how I cannot wait for Josh to hurry home so we can go on more family hikes, drives/picnics, and possible even camping. I miss him tons, and these next few months cannot go by fast enough!

You won't be hearing much from me for a few days

DAY 224~

After getting the kids off to school, I headed to the gym. Instead of trying to make my running time improve, it got worse. I made my mile in 11 minutes, ack!! I was having a hard time running, and would have to stop running and walk some. Well, come to find out, tonight I have barely any voice. My lungs were not feeling the greatest, and this would be why. So, since I don't have a voice, I won't be talking to much.

When I got home I was waiting for the maintenance person, or someone to show up to drain the pipes for our sprinkler. They never showed. So, I got Johnathan off the bus, and we ate lunch.

Then it was nap time for me, I have to fight whatever is taking over my lungs. I have no assistant that can take care of the kids when I'm sick. Josh is far away, a along with all of our family. So, even though, I cannot even cough, because of my lungs just allow me to get a squeaking sound out, I cannot talk, and my lungs hurt, I have to fight it.

Tonight I took Michael to a bear scout meeting. I think he liked it, but the other two were just being way to wild. It was not fun for me for the hour and a half. I'm not sure if he will be going back. It would require me to buy a shirt, book, etc., not sure if I can really afford all of that right now. We will see.

So, I should really head to bed so I can start feeling better sooner then later. Because right now, I'm just feeling miserable, and by tomorrow, I could probably use that assistant, that I don't have.

But, the good news is, even though I don't feel the greatest, we have made it another day, and we are another day closer to seeing Josh. And, I can't wait!!!

I shaved Batman And Iron Man's hair!! oh no!

DAY 223~ October 25th, 2010

After putting my youngest on the bus, and taking the other two to school, I ended up going to the gym, by myself. One of my friends has her husband home for "his vacation home", and my other friend wasn't able to make it because her husband is home. So, I ran. I beat my time by 10 seconds, and now I'm making my mile at 10:35. Which is not the greatest, but it is a lot better then the almost 20 minutes when I first started, and I'm only trying to improve it from that number. I did some leg stuff after my mile, and came home.

It was time to do the finishing touches on the house for cleaning. I had fall inspection at noon today, which I think went okay. The lady arrived right as soon s Johnathan was off the bus. She was here for about 45 minutes then left. I then ate my lunch, and then worked on my homework. Yes, I managed to get 75% of my homework accomplished during the day, instead of at night after the kids are in bed. About then it was time to go to the bus stop to get the older two off the bus.

Then I watched some t.v, until it was time to make curry for dinner. After we ate, I shaved Batman and Iron Mans hair, a.k.a, Johnathan and Michael. This is only the second time that I have shaved their hair, ever! And I'm ready and willing to give the job back to Josh when he is home. I'm always to nervous when I do it. I think it turned out fine, I just hope it doesn't look to bad for school tomorrow.

Finally it was bath time for all three and bed time. Well, I put the boys to bed, and completely forgot about Elizabeths homework tonight. So, after her bath we were lying on her bedroom floor doing her homework until about 9:20 p.m, when I put her to bed.

Since I did most of my homework earlier, I only had a few final touches to do, before doing my blog and heading to bed. Here again, it is almost 1 a.m, and I'm not sleeping, but I'm proud of myself for not taking a nap today.

I love and miss you Josh, and I cannot wait for this time to fly by so I can see you again!

Not wanting to go to bed, but yet not wanting to get up in the morning...

DAY 222~ October 24th, 2010

I know if I went to bed earlier, instead of "sometime" after midnight, It would probably be a lot easier for me to get up in the morning. But, going to bed earlier requires me to go upstairs to an empty bed, and sleep by myself. Something I don't like doing every night. And so, I got to bed later. Once morning comes, I don't want to get up for the lack of sleep for not going to bed earlier the night before. One thing would get me over this, and that is going to bed earlier, but that is easier said then done.

Today was our day for Church, 11 a.m Service. The message was the Grace you show towards others. If you were mad at someone for something show Grace, or kindness and not anger. You should be here to set the example, and not to retaliate if someone done something that you didn't like. Also, things such as family should be written in stone, and not enemy's. Sometimes we write our family in the sand, when then should be our enemy's. A stone is something hard and forever, sand is something that can be brushed away and moved on past. Remember to show Grace for those around you.

The plan when we arrived home was to go and get diesel for the truck after we ate lunch. Well, after lunch I wasn't feeling well, and took a nap while the kids watched some t.v. When I woke up though, we went to get the diesel.

As we were leaving my neighbor ended up pulling up, I asked her if she would be on call if we were to run out of diesel. Since the truck was worked on over a week ago, and some of the workers came to pick up the truck, and brought it back to me letting me know the light was on saying it needed diesel, and didn't let me know how long it was on. So, I had NO CLUE how much diesel was left. We made it to the gas/diesel station though. It was the first time I had driven the "monster truck", well that is what I call it because it is HUGE, at least to me. It is a Ford 250, and I'm only 5'3. It wasn't the easiest to drive for me, the steering wheel was very sensitive and I held on tight. I felt like I was drunk driving, but wasn't because it was crazy. I even was looking at the faces of the people around me when I stopped at a light. Well, they didn't seem to care, they weren't cussing at me, or other things, so maybe I wasn't do such a bad job. It just was difficult. So, instead of taking the long way home to just drive it, I just drove the way back that I came.

When I got home I heated up some pot pies, and gave the kids string cheese. Then we watched some television before they headed to bed. After they were in bed, I cleaned. I vacuumed some rugs we have, and cleaned 2 and a half bathrooms. We have fall inspection at noon tomorrow, so I just am trying to make the house look nice. Yes, I keep the house clean, but I wanted to make sure that it looks extra clean when they come.

Now that it is almost 1 a.m, and my weekly assignment is done for my class it is time to head to bed.

I did get to talk to Josh around 8:30 p.m tonight for 10 minutes. I feel bad for him because he is working the night shift working 12 hours on, 12 hours off. I hope that he is able to get off this crazy shift, into a better job, and working day shift. I just want my husband to be as happy as he can be, considering where he is. I love and miss him tons, and can't wait until he is home again with us.

10 years ago today....

DAY 221~ October 23rd, 2010

10 years ago today was the day that officially started it all for us. It was the day that Josh had asked me out. We were in High School, and he had me walk to his locker with him, he gave me a rose and asked me out. We have been together 10 years as of today, married 9. Josh may not think that this day is that important to him, since we got married. But, it is important to me because if he would have never asked me out this date 10 years ago (it was the Monday after Homecoming dance) that we would have never dated for 11 months, and would have never got married and now have 3 children. So, this date 10 years ago, was the start of us as a couple. And look how far we have come today, 10 years later, WOW! It doesn't feel like I have known Josh 10 years. We were never really friends before this day, and I had only really known him for about a month, and started talking from that point on. Now, 10 years later, I couldn't imagine myself with out my amazing husband, who is an awesome soldier, and does a wonderful job taking care of our family. I love and miss him tons....

Today we started our day off with a soccer game for Michael. Which lasted for an hour. It was a tied game 1-1. Then we came home and ate lunch. When lunch was over I cleaned the kitchen and watched some t.v until it was time to leave.

When I arrived on Fort with the kids, I was one of the unlucky ones to have the random inspection. I have been an Army Wife for 9 years, and this is the second time I have been inspected, and it has been in 7 months. So, I had to give my i.d, registration, and proof of insurance. A long with opening my glove box, console, all four of the doors, back trunk, and hood of the car. And then step aside and wait by the camera while my three kids were in the car and he looked. I wasn't to happy about leaving my vehicle with the kids inside to stand aside by the camera while he looked, but I kept my mouth shut so I wouldn't cause trouble and watched the children carefully. Then we were on our way.

Tonight was mommy's night out. My own little celebration for being with my husband for 10 years (of course 9 years married). It was so exciting. First off, I started out getting gas. And then I continued the exciting times going to Walmart to the Red Box, getting a dollar movie, and getting my dinner at KFC, which was 3.00. It was a cheap night for me. When I came home I watched the movie while eating my dinner. And when the movie was over, I returned it to REDBOX. And went to pick up the kids. Such a great, lonely night.

When the kids and I got home it was bath time and bed time. And I have completed my daily assignments with one of my weekly assignments. It is time for me to head to bed and get some rest for another day. Thankfully the last couple of days have gone by fast, so hopefully that means the next few months will go by fast too.

This day Last Week......

DAY 220~ October 22, 2010

This day last week, we took Josh to the Airport to return Iraq. This day last week was the last time I'm able to hold Josh for a few months. And I cannot wait for those few months to pass. It is sad that I can no longer say I saw him last week, but that means our days, and now weeks are passing by getting closer until we can see him again.

Today the kids and I slept in, pretty late. I knew it would be at least a couple weeks until we could sleep in. When I woke up I had the kids get ready, and got Johnathan dressed. Then had them make lunch, yes, wow, it was lunch time. I was still in my pajamas for awhile while I was working on the laundry, and getting it sorted out by colors. Then it was time for me to get going for the day. By the time I ate for the first time today, from getting distracted doing other things, it was 2 p.m.

After I ate, then I folded laundry and waiting for my jeans to dry that I wanted to wear today. When those were done drying, it was time to run to Walmart to get batteries, training pants, donuts, and cast for the football game tonight.

Since they day was going by so fast, I didn't heat the frozen pizza as planned. Instead, we ran through McDonald's and got cheeseburgers and small fries. I also ordered a dollar sweet tea. So, it was dinner all for under 10 dollars for 4.

We then came home ate our food, and were out the door again. Tonight was Elizabeth's performance with the pee wee cheerleaders and the cheerleaders at the football game. It was fun seeing her on the track next to the field performing. She did pretty good, but I don't think she was into the whole thing as much as mommy would like her to be, since I just have one girl and two boys. She wanted water to drink, to go to the bathroom and get her jacket, things to distract her from her performance.

They performed the first two quarters by the field, and then went on the field to perform for half time. I took some pictures of the first two quarters and the half time.

This has brought back a lot of memories for me. This is the 10 year mark of our Senior Year in High School and our homecoming week. Home coming week was when Josh and I really started talking. We both went to Homecoming dance separate but ended up spending the night dancing together. Homecoming dance was on a Saturday night, and he asked me out the Monday after. Which happens to be October 23rd, which is tomorrow. 10 years ago, was the official start of our relationship and when Josh asked me out. Look at us now, 3 kids later.

The boys had fun watching the high school football game, and Michael even asked me to put football on the television more often. It is also really neat how close we are to the high school football stadium. When you go down one of the main roads to get to our house you can see into the stadium and on the field. When the kids and I left just after the 3rd quarter, we drove down to the area to see the field, and listen to the announcer, then came home. I'm not sure if the team won or lost, since we left early, but they were losing when we left.

Then it was time for the kids to go to bed, and me to do homework.

Loving, missing and thinking about Josh tonight. I miss him a lot. I miss seeing him, and hearing his voice, and I cannot wait for these next few months to pass by.

This is the last night I can say....

DAY 219~October 21, 2010

This is the last night that I can say Josh was here with us LAST Thursday night. I know it sounds crazy, but it is going to be months until I will be able to say, "I will see Josh NEXT week." So, tonight, I will hold onto that remember our night together before we had to take him to the airport to return to Iraq.

Today Johnathan was the only one that had to go to school. The other two didn't have to go to school today since they have conferences today and tomorrow. I took Johnathan out to the bus in front of the house,so that I could return to bed when he was gone. I was tired, so I slept a couple more hours.

When I woke up it was time to take a shower and then get him off the bus. Then it was time for us to eat lunch. After we were finished it was time to head to the conferences at their school.

First, it was Elizabeth's conference. She has improved so much, just in the last couple of weeks when I sad down with her teacher, principal, and 5 other people. She is still not up with the first graders, but has improved, and that made me happy. I got an invitation for the awards Assembly next Friday at their school, she will be getting her 3rd award from the school for her improvement.

Then it was off to Michael's conference. He is doing well with reading. But only improving with his spelling. He has seemed to let the teacher think I have been starving him. Which I'm not, and that was embarrassing. He has been asking the teacher to buy his lunch for him, even though he has cold lunch. And has been asking other teachers, and the office for snacks. He told them that I don't let him in the food cabinet. Which is true, he has to ask, he can't just sneak into food. But, he has snuck into food before. I just wasn't very happy after that, with him making them think I don't feed him.

Then we came home, I relaxed for a bit, and heating up some canned chili for dinner. It was time to head to soccer practice. We again left 20 minutes early from the hour practice to head to Elizabeth's cheer clinic.

She had improved so much today with her cheer clinic. Yesterday after only an hour she was done, and wouldn't do much more. She only really sat out for a few minutes today out of the two hour cheer clinic. And she tried almost everything they taught her. I cannot wait to see her and all of the other little cheerleaders perform during the football game.

Now that I'm really tired, and my homework is finished, I should head to bed. I miss seeing Josh on Facebook, he has just been to busy working. :(

That was a very close call....

DAY 218~

Yet again, I wasn't feeling well enough to go to they gym. But, I didn't rest most of the day like yesterday. I did my best to beat the "funk." So, I took a shower and washed my hair. And then cleaned some around the house. No nap happened today. I also had my daily assignments for my class done by noon. Which was great. I have yet to start my weekly assignment, but I have until midnight Sunday night to finish that.

I just spent most of the day while the older two were in school doing homework and cleaning. Once those two were home it was pretty much time for dinner. I made a simple dinner tonight, tuna fish sandwiches, with soup.

The kids and I had a very close call today. As I was getting the kids off the bus, and the bus driver gave us the go ahead, we were crossing the street and all of a sudden the bust driver honked, and yelled with his hand out STOP!!! This crazy person was going around the stopped bus, in which had the stop sign out. We were right there getting ready to go in the other lane. My heart has never beat so fast. If the bus driver was not paying attention, there is not doubt she would have hit my 3 kids and I, and are two neighbor boys that were walking in a group. Someone was watching over us today to ensure we were not getting hit. It was a very scary thing, and makes me not want to cross that road again because of people that don't care the bus is stopped with a stop sign, and go around and about hit people. I wish I had her license plate number. Still thankful we all didn't get hit by her car.

First, we had young man's soccer practice. We left 20 minutes early from the hour practice in order to take little lady to her cheer clinic.

The cheer clinic went great the first hour of the two hour clinic today. That last hour was horrible. The first hour she was doing the game, stretching and some cheers. But the cheers just continued and continued. I'm not really sure how any of those girls could remember like 7 cheers. We will see. I know I couldn't. It seemed they just taught way to many. So, about a half hour before it was over, I gathered up the three kids and took them to the car. She was done, I was done, it was time to go home. Well, we got to the car, and I know daddy wouldn't do this, but she said that she wanted to go back and cheer. I asked if she was going to actually try, because the last half hour she didn't before. So, we went back in and she kind of tried. We will see how this will go the next couple of days with this cheer clinic, I hope it goes well. I did spoil her a little, even though her attitude didn't really deserve it, but it only cost three dollars. It was a set of pom poms, and a little bag. Not as a set, but separate, they were in expensive.

Then we came home and did baths for the boys and put them to bed. I have been watching a show, that I really don't believe in, at all, and really I think it is disgusting, but for some reason I find myself watching this show, Sister Wives. I don't believe in a man having more then one wife, this just is sick. Especially thinking about the intimate things between a husband and a wife, and then him doing this with other wives. I couldn't live like this, and I'm very happy with the handsome husband and family that I have.

I'm thinking of my husband tonight, and I just want him to know how much I love and miss him, with all of my heart, mind, body and soul, Always and Forever!! This separation from him cannot go fast enough.

Early Morning Wake up Call....

DAY 217~

I just want to start off by saying, Happy Birthday Dad!! I hope you had a great day! Wish we could be there to see you.

Today I was able to talk to Josh this morning at 2:30 a.m,for 23 minutes which was fine. I would rather talk to Josh really early instead of not at all. It was the first I was able to hear his voice since he returned back to Iraq last Friday. He is in full swing back at work, very busy. So it will probably be awhile until I will talk to him again. Which will be hard.

Little lady was home all day do to her "low grade" fever yesterday. She was completely fine, even yesterday she was. It was me that wasn't feeling well today.

The couch became my best friend today. I took little man to the bus stop, and young man to school. And then made lunch at lunch time. That was about it. I was just not feeling well enough to get up off the couch. Little lady was watching cartoons as I was resting. I was finally feeling better at 3:30 when young man came home from school.

When young man came home from school today we ran to the community center to pay for little ladies cheer clinic which starts tomorrow.

Then we had had dinner. I let the kids have a caramel apple that I had bought yesterday at the commissary. Then we watched some television and the headed to bed.

Since I have finished my homework tonight, and my blog is almost complete, I think I will go straighten my hair and head to bed.

I'm glad were another day closer to seeing Josh, I hope these days go by fast so that we can see Josh again.

7 Months Behind Us....

DAY 216~ (October 18th, 2010)

My goal today, was try to get back on some what of a "normal" schedule. Well, that is, as normal as a schedule that I can get myself on while Josh is deployed. And one of the main things was getting back to the gym. I ended up going alone today, I was unsure about this at first. I'm not one that works out by myself. But I knew, this was for me, and and nobody else. I started off with the treadmill. Usually I would not be one to run, but I ran for 8 minutes straight. I wish I could say this was my mile, but that is only at 11:43 now, but working to improve that. Then I went to work on some leg stuff and went home. I think I was at the gym for just under 45 minutes, but I accomplished everything that I wanted to do.

Then it was time to come home, look through my coupons, and make a shopping list for the commissary. Little man and I were headed to the commissary after he got home from school, and ate his lunch.

When we were at the commissary, I had just put my first few things in my cart, and I received a phone call from the kids school. It was about little lady, she was at the office with cold like symptoms, and a "low grade fever." Really, the call was aggravating. Yes my little girl doesn't feel well, but when you get colds, they last awhile, and your forehead will feel a little warm. I can't always keep her home from school. So, I finished my shopping, and then by the time I was done school was over. They had called me a hour before school was out, so by the time I would have made it anyways it would have been a half hour before school was out. I know it sounds like I'm a bad mom, but I just believe if she would have had these symptoms when she was at home, she would have still gone to school.

So, now that she was "sick" at the end of the day, she cannot go to school AT ALL tomorrow, because of her "low grade fever." It's just crazy to me. Once she got off the bus, and the rest of the night she was completely fine. She had never showed me tonight how sick she supposedly was. So, now she will be stuck at home all day. Which ruins it for me going to my kick boxing class in the morning, I was looking forward to going to getting back into my routine.

Then tonight after the groceries were put away, we went out to dinner. We went to Gunther Toodys to celebrate 7 months behind us that we never have to deal with again. I just hope the next few months go by fast so that we can see Josh sooner then later.

Now that I'm really tired, And I at least "checked in" to my online classes that started today. I should head to bed. Here's to another day, one that is done, and has brought us closer to being able to hold Josh in our arms again.

Wait For Me.....

DAY 215~

I added a new song to my profile. It is Wait For Me, by Theory of A Deadman. If it doesn't show up once you come onto the blog, you can go down to the music player, and hit the pop out, scroll down to the end of the list, and you will see it at the end.

This is a great song, it brings tears to my eyes, or maybe just a little more then tears, when I listen to it. But, I think it adds more then just tears to my eyes because not only does it make me think of my husband, but he played it for me while we were sitting in his old truck before we traded that truck in. Whenever I will hear this song while he is gone, I will remember us sitting in his truck out in front of the house, holding hands listening to it, while I was trying to hold back the tears then. And that was at the beginning of his "vacation home". Now I'm sitting here with out him, only able to hold those memories in my heart until I see him again in a few months. And I can't wait until that time comes, at least I know that he won't be home for just his vacation, and will at least be home for awhile.

I hate this adjustment period, trying to get use to not being around him. With him being home for two weeks, we of course got into a family routine. With him returning to Iraq, we lost a big part of that routine, and it is just up to me now, feeling lonely as ever. I know I can do this, I have done it before, I have developed a routine for the 4 of us while he is gone. I just wish I really didn't have to and could return to the routine of the 5 of us. I know I can do this, it is just so emotionally hard. I just have to stop reminding myself that I won't see him for a few months, but like I said, I did it before, I can do this again.

Today the kids and I went to Church, our normal 11 a.m service. It was about it is better to give to others. After Church we had our Military Ministry Potluck, only us, the leader, a couple and another man showed. It was still great though. I took the cupcakes, and I made it home with one out of 19, which was great. I also made it home with half of the pasta. After the meeting we stopped by a coffee shop because we were asked to drop some off to let the community know about the Church's fall festival. I didn't know that this place closed early, because I had never been to it before. So, I had just taken the kids out of the car, tried opening the door and realized they were closed, whoops. I have to go back another day. We did go return our two RedBox movies and then go to a Pizza place that was open, we didn't order pizza, but dropped off the flyer's because we were asked to drop those off.

Then it was time to go home, in which I took a little bit of a nap, as the kids were talking to grandma and grandpa on the phone. It wasn't much of a nap when they were coming up to me bugging me about the phone, or other things, so mainly a rest of my eyes. When I got up I heated up some leftover steak, and had left over past salad for dinner. And it was finally time to finish helping the kids with their homework. We had worked some on the homework yesterday, but didn't get to finish it.

It was finally time for bed for the kids. I was so ready for this! The kids behavior has not been the greatest since Josh left a couple of days ago. They have been very hyper, and not listening. I know a lot of it has to do with their daddy having to leave again. I'm liking being able to be on my laptop while watching t.v. Instead of being down in the cold basement on the computer, where I would hardly get to watch any television, when I'm on the basement computer. I would still much rather have Josh with me, but I can't. So I have to make the most of it.

Here's to keeping busy, and hoping that these next few month pass by in a blink of an eye!! (I wish!!!)

I didn't get much sleep last night....

DAY 214~

I headed to bed last night, sometime after 1 a.m. That doesn't mean that I fell asleep though. It was a rough night. I couldn't help but to have tears in my eyes. It has been lonely being with out Josh. I miss him so much, that my heart just aches. Which just made it hard to sleep. I had to force myself to sleep. Michael had a game today at 9 a.m.

We woke up at 8 a.m, because I really didn't feel like getting up much before that since I had a hard time sleeping. It was hard getting 3 kids to a 9 o'clock a.m game. But we managed, and we made it just on time. Thankfully the kids just play for fun. Poor little ones never actually win. Today the score was 1, our team to 5 the other team. It started to get windy towards the end of the game, so the game ended just in time.

When we got home it was time for me to work on laundry, which I worked on also the rest of the day. I also cleaned the kitchen. Then I payed bills, not so much fun, but it's done until the beginning of the week. And then it was time for lunch.

When lunch was over we had to head to Walmart. I had to return the RedBox Movies I had rented last night. We also have a potluck tomorrow we are going to that I needed to pick up a few things for. I picked up some cake mix to make cupcakes, and some pasta in a box. I took the easy route, since I have limited time raising 3 kids.

On the way back we drove through McDonald's, I wanted another Sweet Tea, like I had last night. When I was at the window I saw these very cute pumpkin buckets for Halloween. I had asked the guy when they were going to stop giving those out, he didn't know. So, even though I wasn't going to buy food, I decide those were to cute to pass up for them for Halloween. So I ordered Cheeseburgers for all of them.

Then we came home and they ate their food. Once they had finished it was almost time to babysit. I was babysitting again tonight, just like last night. From around 4:30 p.m- to around 8:30 p.m. While they watched their movies I continued to do the laundry. Then I made the boxed pasta, and cupcakes. I don't even know when the last time I baked anything was. I try to stay away from baking. I know If I bake it, I will want to eat, which would not be a good thing. So, to avoid it, I just don't bake. The only reason I did was to take it to our potluck tomorrow. I made the Halloween cupcakes. Hopefully they like them. At least the kids did, I let them each have one.

I was so ready for the kids to go to bed tonight. It has been a crazy couple of days. It went from a great, peaceful, hardly any stress two weeks, to now complete craziness to high stress. I'm not sure if the kids are acting up because their dad is gone or what. But, it probably didn't help my stress levels to babysit the last couple days either.

I can't believe it has already been a day and a half since again, we haven't been able to see Josh, and yes it still stinks. And it will continue that way until he comes home next year. The time can not go by fast enough, but at least we know that once these next few months are over, he will be home for awhile, and at least for awhile, we won't have to worry about him deploying right away. So, I'm ready to stop climbing down from the mountain, and, and start sliding down.

Here it is again, after midnight and I'm not in any hurry to go to bed, but yet I want the day to end to just start another day to get through that one and just be closer to being together as a family. Off to bed I go...

Sending Josh Back To Iraq, and now feeling lonely again.

DAY 197 to 213- Beware, it's a long Blog, 2 weeks into 1 blog!

Josh's vacation didn't go by to fast, it went by about right for the 15 days we were given for a year long deployment. But, not it is over, and I'm sad and lonely. Those 15 days were not long enough, for the amount of time until I have to wait again to see him. Thankfully, I don't have to wait as long as we had before, but the amount of time that we do have to wait to see him again, seems like forever. And I just want that forever to pass quickly. I already miss hugging and kissing him, and just being with him. It just makes me sad and lonely having to be with out him. We haven't been able to see him in about about 14 hours, but I already miss him tons. I just don't like the idea of having to send him back to Iraq for the next few months, it really breaks my heart, knowing where he is going.

Right now I'm multi-tasking, watching Remember Me, drinking A glass of wine, and eating a bag of popcorn (which is not nearly as good as the popcorn Josh makes) remembering about the past two weeks spent with Josh, on the start of our 9 years of marriage. It was a fabulous two weeks, and I'm sad that we won't be able to spend those moments together for a few months.

Josh of course came home on our 9th Anniversary, the day of, written about in the previous blog. The next morning Josh and I were able to go out to breakfast at Denny's, just the two of us. It was nice just spending that time with him. Then we were able to wonder around the mall for a little bit, where he bought some new running shoes, because he has had his old ones for years. Then we had to head home for Johnathan. That night Michael had soccer practice, in which we all went to as a family, which was great. On Friday, the next day, we had to go pay our rent, and then go to the Commissary since we needed groceries.

On Saturday, Michael his soccer game. After his soccer game we headed home and watched Saturday College football the rest of the day. It was nice being able to be on my lap top doing my homework sitting next to Josh, while he was watching football.

On Sunday we were able to go on a fun family hike. It was great going going all 5 of us on family hike. We didn't get to hike as far as I would have liked because we had a little 3 year old with us, who could only handle so much. The other two were doing great though. We also ended up on what I call a cliff, haha, and Josh calls a hill, but to me, whatever it looked like it went a long ways down. It also had a narrow path, and honestly, I was scared to death to go any further. Josh didn't think it was so bad. But, I was to scared to continue. I honestly, had bent down, grabbed some rocks, and held on for my dear life. I was so scared. I was like we cannot go any further. So, we went back to the other trail. I was so tired, from also being scared, that is also why we didn't continue much on the other path. Josh took some great family pictures of us also while we were hiking.

While he was here, we also watched lots of movies. And had great meals. He made us a few of his fabulous breakfasts, BBQ some for us, and made his famous (to us at least) popcorn I probably gained lots of weight from eating great food this past two weeks. We also had more practices and games. In all, he was able to attend 3 of Michael's games, because one was on a Tuesday.

This past weekend was great also. We had a game on Saturday from 3-4. Then we came home and got ready. One of my friends was watching the 3 kids so that Josh and I were able to go out on a date. It was our first actual date in a long time. We went to dinner at a Italian restaurant, and then went to see a movie. We saw, "Life as We Know it", which was a very funny movie. I'm glad that Josh had picked it out. I had a great time spending that time with him with out the kids.

On Friday, we did a last minute thing. Josh was looking at Trucks on the computer, being married to him 9 years, I knew that he was going to want to go and look at the truck he had seen. So, just for fun we went to look at the truck. We ended up buying it, ad 2006 Ford, F-250. We traded out F-150, in which the dealership had loved it. Josh put a lot of work in the inside and out. He ended up getting a better deal on it then he thought and that is why we traded it in.

On Sunday, I did something that I had been wanting to do before Josh had deployed. Josh Baptized me. It was an amazing thing. I was so extremely happy that I was able to have my husband Baptize me. I ended up being Baptized on 10-10-10, I didn't chose it because of this day, just because I wanted to be able to have Josh Baptize me before he left. They also took a picture of Josh putting me under the water. I later found out when we left that Michael, our oldest told me he was also able to see me. He had asked someone to take him down to watch me be Baptized by Josh. Both meant a lot to me.

Thankfully on Monday, the kids didn't have school. We had a fun day trip over two hours away up towards the mountain. We were headed to this lake that Josh had done research on, but it ended up being closed for the season just a week prior. So, we did some driving around up in the mountains, and had a picnic. It was a fun day trip for our family, we really enjoyed it.

I honestly can't remember what we did on Tuesday, but on Wednesday we went to a friends house who is our Military Ministry at Church leader. It was the first time Josh had met her husband. We had a great time hanging out with them. We also took our truck in to get some work done on it. When we had bought it they were starting to do some work on it, but didn't get to finish it since we bought it. When we took it in the morning, they said we could pick it up that afternoon. Well, that afternoon turned into picking it up on Thursday evening. Josh was disappointed he wasn't able to drive his truck on the last couple of days.

We had our last family dinner for a few months last night. It was great sitting down just the five of us. Josh BBQ'ed for us. I love the food, but didn't have much of and appetite since he was leaving the next day. Josh and I were going to watch a movie last night, but the On Demand wasn't working, so we played Scene it On X-Box instead. He always wins when he plays, we always watch a ton of movies.

And today, it was was one of the hardest days. We had to yet say bye again to Josh for a few months. It just broke my heart taking him to the airport, and watching him walk through security. If I had my choice we would have went back with him to the gate, because we had that option. Josh thought it would be easier to say our byes at the security. So, we took our pictures, and I held him and didn't want to let go. I really do miss him alot. We stood watching him at security until we couldn't see him anymore. I did my best holding back the tears, but I think that most everyone in line knew what was happening. We got lots of sad looks from others.

When we came home, and it was time for his plane to take off, the kids and I went outside to see if we could see it. We live just a few minutes from the airport and can see airplanes fly all the time. I took a picture of the plane in which I thought was his.

The rest of the day, I took a nap, went to Walmart to get two RedBox movies, a drink for the kids, McDonald's so I could get a tea, our friend brought McDonald's Burgers and fries for us for dinner and I babysat.

Now since it is 1 a.m, and we have a game at 9 a.m for Michael, I should head to bed. I'm ending this blog with tears in my eyes from missing Josh, it's back to being lonely with out him, especially at night when it's usually our time to spend watching a movie. I'm not really read to go crawl in our bed by myself, but I need to make myself, I need sleep before the game. Sorry this blog is SOO... Long, it is 2 weeks in one blog.

I love you Josh, and I miss you tons already, I hope these next few months go by as fast as possible. I cannot wait to be together again with you, holding you in my arm.. Stay safe my Handsome Husband!