Wish I could freeze this day...

Right now I'm trying to avoid thinking about all the emotions help up inside. It is getting tougher and tougher knowing what is shortly ahead. I have to stay strong, for the kids and Josh. We kept the kids home from school today knowing that it would be a last full day with their dad because of them being in school They are already having a tough time. They know daddy is leaving soon. Michael keeps on saying, "I wish daddy didn't have to go". And Elizabeth is always asking, "where is daddy" when he is not around. I keep on having to nicely say to them, and explain that daddy is going far away, it will be a few months until you can see him again. That is so hard for a mother to tell her children, that you cannot be around your dad, we don't have the choice, and you will not have the choice to go and visit him while he is gone. It is just to much hard information to take in for such young children. Some dads are leaving maybe about 6 months after their children's birthday, so yet they are missing their next birthday. But they will be back halfway before the birthday after that. Josh is basically missing an entire year of their age, because of leaving shortly before their birthdays. This is a very difficult day for me, but not as difficult as the one to come soon. I'm trying to get as many pictures as I can of him, so we have those to hold on to, at least until he comes home for his R and R, his leave halfway in between. Please just continue to keep our family in your thoughts, it is a difficult thing to have my husband leave not only for a year, but it being his 4th time. We are just going to spend as much time possible with him today, and enjoy every last minute.

Time is flying by...

Time if flying by very fast now. In a blink of an eye, he will soon be gone. And with our luck, we, my husband and I are both sick! Some type of cold is going around right now and we both some how picked it up. Yay, for us! Not! So, even though he is home now, he is resting on the couch. I do want to spend time with him, but yet he needs his sleep. In a few days he will not have the chance to get a nap, and will be expected to be up long hours. I'm just using this time to do my online school work for college, and laundry. So much fun! When he wakes up from his nap, (hopefully it is not to long), I will just take in every last minute with him, and enjoy it. We only have limited time left together. Even though I have said it a thousand times, my husband is deploying soon. I really don't think it has fully hit me, or at least I have tried to not let it hit me. I need to keep myself together for him, and the kids. Right now that is a hard thing to do, just a little thought, of he is leaving soon, could make me cry. So, for now that is, I try to think of something else, and concentrate that on spending time with my husband. I just know soon, it really is going to feel like half my heart is ripped from me, and taken with him to Iraq. It is just not something I want to think about right now. I love my husband dearly, and I'm so Proud of him for what he has done for our family, and what he has done for our country, and I know his soldiers will need him when they go. For now, I'll just wait for him to get up so I can spend quality time with him before he leaves in the next few days. or sooner, I can't exactly say because of OPSEC, :)

Slow it Down March..

I was nice and asked March to slow down. Int stead this month decided to speed up. I wish that I could pull out my own magic wand slow the month down. It stinks to think my husband is going away soon for an entire year, and will miss so much of our lives here at home. I try not to think of it to much, or it just makes me sad. So, my mind wonders and I think about things that will happen when he is gone, writing books, keeping the kids busy, a luncheon and conference, but yet again, I have to stop myself. I don't want to think of things that are happening when he is gone, I want to cherish every last moment that I have with him when he is here.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to to be married to my husband for as long as we have been, 8 years, and have him here all the time. Instead of the every other year deployment cycle. And being gone half of our marriage. Yes, we were suppose to have 2 years, that he was non-deploy able and worked for the WTU in Maryland. But that ended up only turning into a year and a half together. Not much more then what the deployment cycle would would be.
It is an interesting experience when your separated from your spouse for an extended period of time, and when they return, it's like getting to know a new person. Imagine that time's three, soon to be four times. Sometimes your not able to talk but maybe once a week during a deployment because of him being on mission. (Some soldiers who are lucky, and are at base camp most of the time can call more often). You learn to cherish every call you get not knowing when the next one will be. This will be something I have to get use to again, and fast. Instead of waking up every morning to make my husbands lunch, and kiss him goodbye (and then go back to bed until the kids need to be up), and then being there greeting him at the door when he arrives home. Also having the chance to see him after work, and on the weekends. I'm going to cherish these next few days, and carry these moment in my heart when he is gone...

The "D" Word

So, some of you may be thinking what is the "D" word? Well, it is a word, that you just don't use in our house. You may be thinking, oh divorce, or some other random not so nice word. Well, that is not it, you don't say the word DEPLOYMENT, in the house. That is like a bad word for us, after my husband has been on 4 of them. I have started writing a book, about what life has been like being an Army Wife, and things that have gone on back at home waiting for my husband to come home again. I'm going to use this as a way for you to follow the life of an Army Wife, and what it is like on a daily basis. Also, to follow me on how things are going on writing my books. Yes, I said books, I am going to use my spare time, which normally would have been used to spend time with my husband watching movies, or our favorite show 24 on D.V.D, instead I'm going to be writing a non-fiction book about what things I have gone through during the deployments he has had, and then a fiction book which is going to be mystery/romance. Oh yeah, don't forget I will be busy taking care of the three kids, and also I just started online classes in February. So, be sure and check back and see what countdown mode is like (I cannot tell you the for sure day he is leaving because of OPSEC) but what life is like before he leaves, and then continuing on for the next year. And so what I have to say now is, here we go again.......