Having Faith in the Military Lifestyle....

DAY 11- Each day that I go with out my husband get's harder and harder, were at day 4 now, of not being able to talk. They always say, no news is good news. And I do know he is in a safer place as of now. It is just the fact of not being able to hear the voice of the one you love, and the one that your use to saying goodbye to at the door in the morning, and then greeting when he comes home at night. I really hope he is able to call us soon.

The kids and I were able to go to Church Service today. We have only missed 3 Sundays since last February. That was when we moved, and then when my parents came to visit. That is of course two different Churches in two completely different States. I always enjoy going and hearing the message, and the Pastor is great. I thought I would miss our old Pastor the way he gave the message, but thankfully we found a new Pastor to give the message in just as great of a way. The kids also like to be in their rooms and learn the message of the day that way.

After Church we drove by Johnathans school that he is suppose to be starting tomorrow. We will see. The other two hadn't yet seen where Johnathan is going to school. I don't think Josh got to see the school yet either. But the first time he saw Michael and Elizabeths school was when we went to Michaels concert three weeks ago, and the kids had been attending that school since December. When we got home we ate lunch, and then they played outside for a half hour.

Something that I wanted to talk about today was a question that was asked by another lady on FaceBook. It got me thinking, what it is like having Faith in the Military Lifestyle. It is actually really hard, when it comes to having my husband deployed. But I know that everything will be okay no matter where we move, we will be together as a family. We will have each other, no matter if we are away from extened family. I also continue my Faith when Josh is deployed. I have to have Faith that he will return home to us safely, and that when he returns home he will still love me. It makes it hard when a Spouse is Deployed, and both spouses become totally different people. We have experienced that over the prior 3 deployements. But, our love continues to grow strong. I remember on Josh's second deployment, it was a minor change, but a change I didn't expect. When he came home on his leave he wanted to go out and buy wranglers, he had changed the way he dressed, I was just shocked. The spouse who is deployed also get's use to not having to be around the spouse and children. The wife that is home has been use to dealing with everything at home, from bills, to cleaning, to parenting on her own. And when her husband returns, they have to meet in the middle. The wife should no longer have to do everything by herself, and the husband should help out. It is also having Faith that this will happen and it will be a smooth transition home. We still have quite a while until we have to make this transition, that I have to have Faith that when it does happen, it will happen just as smoothly as it has happened in the prior 3 deployments.

I'm just sitting here wondering what my husband is having to do today. And how he is feeling being stuck in the "land of sand". I know it is hard here taking care of the three children by myself, and doing everything else alone. But, I'm wondering how he is dealing being in such a place that he is. It couldn't be good, having to work all the time, or atleast being on call. And not being around us, his family. Or he might even like the break, who knows, only he does. I do know that he is probably not thinking about us as much as I'm thinking about him. I know he is busy, and doesn't have the time to worry about us at home. I'm the only one that can take care of things that are happening here, so, if anything does happen I need not worry him because he can't do anything, and has more major things to worry about there. I'll just continue sitting here (not really sitting, just waiting for his call, and gettting things done around here), waiting for his call, anxiously awaiting to here his voice again.

My Official Countdown has begun, 6 months from today....

DAY 10-
Well, I can only hope, and dream that it will stick to the day my husband requested, but things can always change. In 6 months he is suppose to come home on his leave and be here for our 9th Anniversary. If he is unable to come during that time, at least I know in my heart, that he tried. Some things he can't always take control of when he is in the Army. So, for now at least that is the day I'm sticking with, and counting down until that day. When I can have him in my arms again, and give him a big kiss. I really miss him here and the random moments that I could just walk up to him and give him a hug. Just having him in my arms made my day. I cannot wait for those moments again when he is here for two weeks on his "vacation at home".

Today didn't start out so well. I really didn't feel to good like half of the day. It was nearly impossible to do anything around the house. So, the kids just played with their toys. I miss the times that when I wouldn't feel good, I would just go take a bath or a nap, and Josh would be here to watch the children. Now it's all up to me, whether I'm feeling well or not. Thankfully the kid's weren't to bad today. Only Johnathan and his temper tantrums about half of the day. He would get mad over anything and everything, and then that would be that.

Thankfully about 1:30 p.m today I was feeling better, and was able to do some laundry. I don't understand why it is, when I'm out and about I want to stay home. But then, when I'm home I feel stuck, and want to be out and about. I find myself looking out my windows a lot, I guess trying to see if people still exist. But, I don't have much luck in my neighborhood. I hardly see anyone around. It get's pretty lonely here without another adult to talk to, I do have three kids. But they play their toys together a lot.

It seems I'm having a more difficult time on this 4th deployment. That is because I don't have any family around, and I don't really have any friends to do anything with. So it's just the 3 kids and I, almost all the time together. And also, on all the other 3 deployments, I had at least a part time job. Now, I cannot afford daycare for 3 kids, and so I'm stuck. Lonely, and missing my husband even more. It is hard when you get use to seeing some one every day, and then they go away and you only get to speak to them maybe every 3 days. I just hope at least the next 6 months goes by fast. This past 10 days has felt like a long time because the kids were on spring break. I hope that once they are back in school next week things speed up for us.

Johnathan did do something cute today, between all of his temper tantrums. I was trying to get him to say, "I'm 3", and he told me, "No, Your not 3!" I thought that was funny.

Well, I think it is time for me to get off and work on some of my college classes online. I'm going to be sitting here hoping and wishing for another phone call from my husband. because I'm truly sitting here missing him a lot tonight.