Wish I could freeze this day...

Right now I'm trying to avoid thinking about all the emotions help up inside. It is getting tougher and tougher knowing what is shortly ahead. I have to stay strong, for the kids and Josh. We kept the kids home from school today knowing that it would be a last full day with their dad because of them being in school They are already having a tough time. They know daddy is leaving soon. Michael keeps on saying, "I wish daddy didn't have to go". And Elizabeth is always asking, "where is daddy" when he is not around. I keep on having to nicely say to them, and explain that daddy is going far away, it will be a few months until you can see him again. That is so hard for a mother to tell her children, that you cannot be around your dad, we don't have the choice, and you will not have the choice to go and visit him while he is gone. It is just to much hard information to take in for such young children. Some dads are leaving maybe about 6 months after their children's birthday, so yet they are missing their next birthday. But they will be back halfway before the birthday after that. Josh is basically missing an entire year of their age, because of leaving shortly before their birthdays. This is a very difficult day for me, but not as difficult as the one to come soon. I'm trying to get as many pictures as I can of him, so we have those to hold on to, at least until he comes home for his R and R, his leave halfway in between. Please just continue to keep our family in your thoughts, it is a difficult thing to have my husband leave not only for a year, but it being his 4th time. We are just going to spend as much time possible with him today, and enjoy every last minute.

Making the most of family memories

As the days continue to fly by, and now I can say to the kids, this day next week daddy will not be with us, we are contiuing to make family memories until he leaves. Yesterday Josh, the 3 kids and I went to Red Lobster for dinner. It was a Birthday/Farewell dinner. A farewell dinner because even though we know of this one day he is leaving, it could happen that he leaves any day before then. We had a great time as a family. The kids got to wear their new little outfits. Elizabeth wore a dress, as did I. And the boys wore nice shirts with ties, as well as Josh. We got pictures so that we can remember this family dinner while he is gone. We don't get to go out to family dinners that often having the three children. It get's to expensive after adding everything up. So this was a special occasion for us. The waitress asked Josh if it was for a special occasion because we were all dressed up. He said "not really a special occasion, I'm deploying soon." I added, it is for his birthday to because he won't be here for his birthday.
We did have about three cars that wanted to kiss our car on the trip there and back. They wanted to turn in the lane while our car was there. Great for people not really paying attention. But we did make it safely to and from the restauraunt.
When we got home we had the kids take of their nice clothes and put on their pajamas, then we watched the movie G-FORCE it think it is. It was a great family time, a time for me and the kids to remember and cherish in our heart until we are able to see Josh again in the next few months when he comes home for leave. As we are yet another day closer to him leaving, we are just contiuing to enjoy every day that we have with him.

Slow it Down March..

I was nice and asked March to slow down. Int stead this month decided to speed up. I wish that I could pull out my own magic wand slow the month down. It stinks to think my husband is going away soon for an entire year, and will miss so much of our lives here at home. I try not to think of it to much, or it just makes me sad. So, my mind wonders and I think about things that will happen when he is gone, writing books, keeping the kids busy, a luncheon and conference, but yet again, I have to stop myself. I don't want to think of things that are happening when he is gone, I want to cherish every last moment that I have with him when he is here.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to to be married to my husband for as long as we have been, 8 years, and have him here all the time. Instead of the every other year deployment cycle. And being gone half of our marriage. Yes, we were suppose to have 2 years, that he was non-deploy able and worked for the WTU in Maryland. But that ended up only turning into a year and a half together. Not much more then what the deployment cycle would would be.
It is an interesting experience when your separated from your spouse for an extended period of time, and when they return, it's like getting to know a new person. Imagine that time's three, soon to be four times. Sometimes your not able to talk but maybe once a week during a deployment because of him being on mission. (Some soldiers who are lucky, and are at base camp most of the time can call more often). You learn to cherish every call you get not knowing when the next one will be. This will be something I have to get use to again, and fast. Instead of waking up every morning to make my husbands lunch, and kiss him goodbye (and then go back to bed until the kids need to be up), and then being there greeting him at the door when he arrives home. Also having the chance to see him after work, and on the weekends. I'm going to cherish these next few days, and carry these moment in my heart when he is gone...