I dreamt of you last night.....

DAY 6-

I dreamt of you last night, only to awake with tears in my eyes realizing it was not reality, it was a nightmare I awoke to, because you are gone. In my dream you were here with us, the five of us. Spending time together just like the day before you left. It was a nice day outside, perfect temperature. We started the day out with you making us breakfast and finished with you barbecuing hamburgers for us. Enjoying every minute with you. And now your gone, it's just the four of us without you hear. Just taking it one day at a time until we see you again. I cannot wait until that moment, in 6 months that I can hold you again. We love and miss you soo.. much!

Today I finally made myself get out of bed at a decent time. I surprised the kids (it was more for Johnathan and Elizabeth), and took them to this movement and dance thing at the Citadel Mall. They have this Imagination Celebration place, and from 10-11 a.m, they had a movement and dance thing for free. They are having different free activities for the kids during spring break. I'm glad I remembered where the mall is because my GPS, didn't want to work for me. Piece of junk! I need to find where my husbands is and "borrow" it for the next year. Crap, do I even have keys to his truck? Good question because how am I suppose to start it once a week if I don't have keys. Something I need to ask him next time I talk to him, it has been 2 days since I talked to him, and only got to talk 10 minutes then. It is really hard not being able to talk to someone that your use to seeing every day. And when you want to call and talk, you don't have that choice. You have to wait for that call that will come every few days. And only then will you be able to talk a few short minutes.

Anyways, Michael was bugging me what is this, why are we here, etc., He would not do anything. And then finally he was getting in to it, and in the end he said he had fun. I think Elizabeth and Johnathan enjoyed it also. After it was over we went for a drive, because I was curious where this road I had never been on went. Umm, it literally went to the middle of no where. Or, at least it seemed that way. After a ways, I turned around, I didn't see anything in the distance. We needed to go home and eat lunch, and I have lots of laundry to do. Yesterday when I was doing laundry, one of Josh's shirts was in the laundry room, it still smelt like his cologne. I stepped into my teeny tiny laundry room, if that is what you would like to call it. All of a sudden I could smell his Cologne, it was strong smelling. I stopped for a minute, it was a little sad. A part of me didn't want to wash this shirt because it had the smell of him, but I did anyways. I have been slowly washing up all of his dirty clothes, but it is a little hard knowing they won't be coming through my loads of laundry for 6 months.

Finally this afternoon Johnathan got his insoles for his shoes, his occupational therapist stopped by to drop him off. He has his last in home speech, and occupational therapy last week because of him turning 3. His last occupational therapy was suppose to be the day Josh left, but I had to cancel it. So, it was the prior week for his last one. Johnathan is suppose to be starting preschool next week since he is now 3. I haven't had the school contact me even though I turned all of his papers in at least a month and a half ago, if not more.

I'm just going to continue taking each day one day at a time, this spring break right after Josh left has not helped any. It has been a hard last few days with kids not listening, and temper tantrums, and back talking. I will be looking forward to the kids returning to school next week. I will also be waiting for the next time I get to talk to Josh, I really hope that is soon, after a few days of not talking to him, the days get harder and harder. But, I'm not at that point yet since it has only been 2 days of not talking. So, this is it for now, I'll be anxiously awaiting Josh's next phone call.