Sending Josh Back To Iraq, and now feeling lonely again.

DAY 197 to 213- Beware, it's a long Blog, 2 weeks into 1 blog!

Josh's vacation didn't go by to fast, it went by about right for the 15 days we were given for a year long deployment. But, not it is over, and I'm sad and lonely. Those 15 days were not long enough, for the amount of time until I have to wait again to see him. Thankfully, I don't have to wait as long as we had before, but the amount of time that we do have to wait to see him again, seems like forever. And I just want that forever to pass quickly. I already miss hugging and kissing him, and just being with him. It just makes me sad and lonely having to be with out him. We haven't been able to see him in about about 14 hours, but I already miss him tons. I just don't like the idea of having to send him back to Iraq for the next few months, it really breaks my heart, knowing where he is going.

Right now I'm multi-tasking, watching Remember Me, drinking A glass of wine, and eating a bag of popcorn (which is not nearly as good as the popcorn Josh makes) remembering about the past two weeks spent with Josh, on the start of our 9 years of marriage. It was a fabulous two weeks, and I'm sad that we won't be able to spend those moments together for a few months.

Josh of course came home on our 9th Anniversary, the day of, written about in the previous blog. The next morning Josh and I were able to go out to breakfast at Denny's, just the two of us. It was nice just spending that time with him. Then we were able to wonder around the mall for a little bit, where he bought some new running shoes, because he has had his old ones for years. Then we had to head home for Johnathan. That night Michael had soccer practice, in which we all went to as a family, which was great. On Friday, the next day, we had to go pay our rent, and then go to the Commissary since we needed groceries.

On Saturday, Michael his soccer game. After his soccer game we headed home and watched Saturday College football the rest of the day. It was nice being able to be on my lap top doing my homework sitting next to Josh, while he was watching football.

On Sunday we were able to go on a fun family hike. It was great going going all 5 of us on family hike. We didn't get to hike as far as I would have liked because we had a little 3 year old with us, who could only handle so much. The other two were doing great though. We also ended up on what I call a cliff, haha, and Josh calls a hill, but to me, whatever it looked like it went a long ways down. It also had a narrow path, and honestly, I was scared to death to go any further. Josh didn't think it was so bad. But, I was to scared to continue. I honestly, had bent down, grabbed some rocks, and held on for my dear life. I was so scared. I was like we cannot go any further. So, we went back to the other trail. I was so tired, from also being scared, that is also why we didn't continue much on the other path. Josh took some great family pictures of us also while we were hiking.

While he was here, we also watched lots of movies. And had great meals. He made us a few of his fabulous breakfasts, BBQ some for us, and made his famous (to us at least) popcorn I probably gained lots of weight from eating great food this past two weeks. We also had more practices and games. In all, he was able to attend 3 of Michael's games, because one was on a Tuesday.

This past weekend was great also. We had a game on Saturday from 3-4. Then we came home and got ready. One of my friends was watching the 3 kids so that Josh and I were able to go out on a date. It was our first actual date in a long time. We went to dinner at a Italian restaurant, and then went to see a movie. We saw, "Life as We Know it", which was a very funny movie. I'm glad that Josh had picked it out. I had a great time spending that time with him with out the kids.

On Friday, we did a last minute thing. Josh was looking at Trucks on the computer, being married to him 9 years, I knew that he was going to want to go and look at the truck he had seen. So, just for fun we went to look at the truck. We ended up buying it, ad 2006 Ford, F-250. We traded out F-150, in which the dealership had loved it. Josh put a lot of work in the inside and out. He ended up getting a better deal on it then he thought and that is why we traded it in.

On Sunday, I did something that I had been wanting to do before Josh had deployed. Josh Baptized me. It was an amazing thing. I was so extremely happy that I was able to have my husband Baptize me. I ended up being Baptized on 10-10-10, I didn't chose it because of this day, just because I wanted to be able to have Josh Baptize me before he left. They also took a picture of Josh putting me under the water. I later found out when we left that Michael, our oldest told me he was also able to see me. He had asked someone to take him down to watch me be Baptized by Josh. Both meant a lot to me.

Thankfully on Monday, the kids didn't have school. We had a fun day trip over two hours away up towards the mountain. We were headed to this lake that Josh had done research on, but it ended up being closed for the season just a week prior. So, we did some driving around up in the mountains, and had a picnic. It was a fun day trip for our family, we really enjoyed it.

I honestly can't remember what we did on Tuesday, but on Wednesday we went to a friends house who is our Military Ministry at Church leader. It was the first time Josh had met her husband. We had a great time hanging out with them. We also took our truck in to get some work done on it. When we had bought it they were starting to do some work on it, but didn't get to finish it since we bought it. When we took it in the morning, they said we could pick it up that afternoon. Well, that afternoon turned into picking it up on Thursday evening. Josh was disappointed he wasn't able to drive his truck on the last couple of days.

We had our last family dinner for a few months last night. It was great sitting down just the five of us. Josh BBQ'ed for us. I love the food, but didn't have much of and appetite since he was leaving the next day. Josh and I were going to watch a movie last night, but the On Demand wasn't working, so we played Scene it On X-Box instead. He always wins when he plays, we always watch a ton of movies.

And today, it was was one of the hardest days. We had to yet say bye again to Josh for a few months. It just broke my heart taking him to the airport, and watching him walk through security. If I had my choice we would have went back with him to the gate, because we had that option. Josh thought it would be easier to say our byes at the security. So, we took our pictures, and I held him and didn't want to let go. I really do miss him alot. We stood watching him at security until we couldn't see him anymore. I did my best holding back the tears, but I think that most everyone in line knew what was happening. We got lots of sad looks from others.

When we came home, and it was time for his plane to take off, the kids and I went outside to see if we could see it. We live just a few minutes from the airport and can see airplanes fly all the time. I took a picture of the plane in which I thought was his.

The rest of the day, I took a nap, went to Walmart to get two RedBox movies, a drink for the kids, McDonald's so I could get a tea, our friend brought McDonald's Burgers and fries for us for dinner and I babysat.

Now since it is 1 a.m, and we have a game at 9 a.m for Michael, I should head to bed. I'm ending this blog with tears in my eyes from missing Josh, it's back to being lonely with out him, especially at night when it's usually our time to spend watching a movie. I'm not really read to go crawl in our bed by myself, but I need to make myself, I need sleep before the game. Sorry this blog is SOO... Long, it is 2 weeks in one blog.

I love you Josh, and I miss you tons already, I hope these next few months go by as fast as possible. I cannot wait to be together again with you, holding you in my arm.. Stay safe my Handsome Husband!